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i havnt writen in a while its saturday march 5th 11:21 pm and i feel lower than s**t ive ******** up befor but can anyone ******** up so much that the person they love hate them so much my heart was pounding with fear and exaustion a second ago water falls pouring from my eyes body trembling eyes bluring i feel as if i have to throw up i cant sit still i failed at keeping the one person that made me happy< happy is this what a heartbreak feels to be called the worst of worst by her even though theres someone much worse next to her i just threw up my body trembling more fingers numb i cant fell my heart did it drop to my stomach will i ever be enough or will he always be there idk should i just bend and break my self till im ok with it or should i do some thing all i feel is a black air surounding me and in my body i cant breath cant look straight might pass out someone please tell me what to do i cant lose her no matter what cause the second i do i lose my purpose my life everything thats meaningful to me on this planet is her< her smile when i make her laugh her warmth when we hold each other adn more importantly the feeling of no longer being a lone ashly if you read this i love you and i am sorry for all ive done ill fix myself ill make you happy just hold on