Perfect. This is just perfect. stressed It finally happened. My mom finally managed to run my dad out of the house after a year and a half of all this s**t going on. I can't say I'm happy about it, cause I'm not. It was last wednesday. I woke up the next morning and almost his entire home office was cleaned out of that room. Vanished. Just like that *snaps fingers*. A year and a half of personal agony and suffering just for it to end in one night. ******** that s**t. I can't stand this any more. I feel like no matter what I do, it's just going to be thrown back in my face as something else gets ******** up just like it always does. I mean, what the ********?! scream This, of all things, is there very last thing that I expected or wanted to happen to me, and it did. Why the hell have I been put through this? I lay awake in bed at night wondering why this happened to me, and I can never seem to come to a solid answer. I just feel so ******** up in the head, and like any minute I'm just gonna break down or snap and just lose my mind! I can't ******** take this crap any more. I don't know how I've managed to put up with it for the past 18 months. I just don't know, and I can't bear it. Now my mom's gone and told my grandfather everything that's happened. I didn't want her to tell him. It's gonna kill him to know that we've been put through this, and all he'll do for the rest of his life is feel sorry for us and dote his sypathy upon us. I hate that. I hate it when people feel sorry for me. It just drives me up the wall. I mean, I'm not saying that people shouldn't feel bad, but I don't want him to feel sorry for me. I've just got so many emotions and thoughts swirling through my head right now that I can't think straight any more. My grades are slipping, and I'm losing the people I love, and I don't know what to believe in any more. I don't know what's good, what's bad, and thusly I have the worst lack of judgement. I just....I think things that I wouldn't normally think, like that my friends hate me. I don't think that all the time, but sometime it crosses my mind. I don't know why. I feel like there's nothing I can trust, and that I'm alone....even though I know that I'm not. I'm just so confused and ******** up...I don't know what to do anymore... sad
 LegolisoftheW.R. · Sun May 21, 2006 @ 08:59pm · 3 Comments |
