my 1st thing ive subbmited

• Artist: LadyHacker92
• Description: idk man, i suck at poetry, so, critisize, pm me, whatever, lol
• Date: 12/06/2008
• Tags: thing subbmited

bittersweet was my love, alas not anymore
my heart was like an empty grave, till this girl, fell upon it,
all my heart was, was a wandering soul,
angry at the nothingness upon that of what it trodden,
through its rage and lonely hatred, it destroyed everthing it made,
but alas!!! no more, for the wandering soul has been tamed,
all by one, and only girl, to always, fill my empty hole.

Comments

[LadyHacker92]

i think her name ends with a horse, dark elf

[LadyHacker92]

^_^, i guess so, thanks for the support guys, i really appreciate it. +^_^+

[Hatchet Girl 1990]

Im glad people like ur cute poem razz
I told you it was good =]

[shawnielizabeth]

hey stranger, i love ur poem
but who is this girl who filled ur empty hole?
wink

[Blaesse]

dude, what's with the archaic english? anyways i like it, you misused some punctuation, but everything else was good. 4/5

[Lil_Miss_Kairi]

I think it sounds alright.

[LadyHacker92]

thanks people!!! and uhhh, gerordwaysgirl, u should add me, and then pm me to tell me how it could be eddited!! ^_^ thanks again