Who I am

• Artist: Showayii
• Description: [Kind of a long poem]I thought it up when i was bored.. :p
• Date: 10/04/2008
• Tags: whoiam

I have always been the quiet one in my family,the one who sits there,silently on a comfy chair while everyone is mad and arguing.I am the picture on the wall that just watches.Not saying anything,not on any side,just sitting there in place.I am a sister that could tell a story of my siblings,I am a friend,trying to be the best I could be.I am a daughter,youngest to the world.I am a new aunt,to my nephew,who is a reminder to me of what amazing things God does.He is also a treasure that is worth a lot.His smile with only four teeth lights up my world when it's not so bright.I am a secret keeper,giving no-one the key to the secrets that dwell within me.I am a child of God,a believer of him,one of the million that will fall to their knees when they see God's face.

Comments

[Such A Freak]

You need to learn the style of poems. It's not paragraphs, it's STANZAS. There are LINES in STANZAS. Your spelling, needs work! Usually after .s and ,s you put a space before the next text. All I saw was just squished text.
I'm not rating it, cause it does not deserve a 1/5 rating! -.-

[roku135]

the poem is good but u need to work on your writing

[Critical Knickers]

Uh...your punctuation needs some work. You also capitalized God twice, while you left it un-capitalized once. You need consistency, especially if you're going to use a repetitive theme with all of the "I am." And a little formatting would help, this is just one big lump. 1/5 because while you wrote a promising piece, I don't feel that you put a lot of effort into your presentation, and you didn't catch my attention.

[SuperModel4life]

wow thats ... i dont no what to say but ( claps) it was awesoem!