Lies and Hope

• Artist: Deflorescere
• Description: This song is just something I wrote right into the box, and I love to write so rate plox~
  Comment?
• Date: 11/18/2008
• Tags: death hope peace lies

We started out with lies
and ended in peace
my only question is
how did i survive that week?

I paused a moment longer,
short period of time
i didn't know that you were strong
and i lost my life

All I say is
Twice it's been
dyin on the verge of sin
a knife held to my heart
shaking hands clasped apart.

The memories
down the road
open up, others close

I just wanted all i need
in return you let me bleed
i poured out my whole heart
my very most important part

and
All i say is
twice it's been
living on a rope so thin
a whole world full of hope
and i can't even get you to cope

All i need to say is
it's been too long
throughout my life i haven't been strong
a silent prayer forever gone
but i still know you're wrong.

We started out with lies,
i end this with peace.
i just want to say
i was restless this week.
I wanted to die,
so much happens in a day
but i have had to learn
to love to live this way...

And all i say
are ending words,
to always be
forever heard.

I wanted to lie
to get through the past
but the only thing you've taught me is how to last.

Comments

[Spaz Warrior]

I like the message that the song gives it a really good song but you should think about rereading it and taking some words out. If you ever think about making a band you should sing this song.

[trichodezia]

Awesome I think it's perfect. 5/5 Keep writing. smile

[rich milk chocolate]

thats deep

[Scarlet_Teardrops]

Blah!
Or song, I should say.

[Scarlet_Teardrops]

All I say is twice it's been
Dyin on the verge of sin.

Writing it that way makes this particular rhyme in meter, which is what you have to do for rhyming poetry/songs.

Here's another part:

I poured out my whole heart
my very most important part

Get rid of very, and it will be in meter.

Re-examine, re-write, and this can become a fantastic poem. Thank you for sharing.

[mizoryluvsme]

I think it's very pretty actually. I like how it wasn't completly rhyming but it makes sense to the whole picture. You can picture a struggle but ending peacefully persay.

[J Locomotive]

same feel