- All I'm running on is your love, how much you give me makes me feel like I could live forever, my bodies shutting down my stomachs not agreeing with me my head is killing me... use to be a dark black ice hole where my heart is suppose to be but the love you give me made it turn into the best beating pumping heart anyone could ask for and this was before I was actually with you, when we got together you turn the feeling of forever having a killing disease and never dieing into forever living with the best girl you can find and I don't even pay any mind to the others ones cause i only see your Beauty every time I see you I have a heart attack it comes out of nowhere starts with my heart beating slower then it turns to my heart shutting down don't worry Baby I'm not dieing just having a heart attack I'll be fine when I know your really mine when your in my arms...
- by Purgatory Dengel |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 01/18/2009 |
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- Title: Running on your Love
- Artist: Purgatory Dengel
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Description:
just a poem/song i thought of while ago, rate it and tell me what you think would help me do better! THANKS!
some words might be misspelled or little messed up >,< - Date: 01/18/2009
- Tags: running your love
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Xanopticon - 01/20/2009
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Posting a poem that has very little grammar is generally unappealing. I don't even feel like reading it, because it looks very unorganized. You capitalize "beauty," but don't even capitalize "I?" That's terrible. And there are a few misspelling. Another turnoff.
As for the content, it's fairly decent. Comparing seeing beauty to having a heart attack is a good analogy. But seriously, next poem you post, try to use some basic grammar. 2/5 - Report As Spam
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