Death

• Artist: ii_Emo-Teddybear_ii
• Description: I just wrote this about someone in my family....
• Date: 04/04/2009
• Tags: death

Whenever I see you, I see Death following you,
Never stopping, pushing everything out of His way
to Finally catch your soul.

I can hear the Whisper of Him closing in on you, quietly
Creeping up behind you. I can hear the click of the lighter,
Lighting the ignition of your doomed journey, but you seem not
To mind it at all, but I do.

I can smell His breath reeking of rotting corpses everytime you
Walk in, I smell Death on you. How can you not notice it? Your
Body is not only blackened but it's slowly shriveling up to
Absolutly nothing.

I can taste the Bitter sourness of Him. He's never leaving you. You're
Infecting us. The sweet air I used to breathe is now thickening, it's
Choking me whenever i take a breath, never escaping it, it's wanting Me to. You seem immune to it. but beware. your in Danger.

I can feel the emptiness of your Mind, Soul, and Heart of what
We used to be. I try to reach out for you but i can only feel nothing.
For you have gone already. Only, just only you never gave in to His
Sick and twisted spell. Where have you gone? You've gone, gone away To a place I can't even speak or hear of. You're on His side. You're
Slowly, very slowly giving in to Him. Why?
Once you're in the Black Hole, there's no escape. There's no way
You can ever be free again. You've entered his Realm. You're gone. You're lost. You're trapped.

Comments

[Raynai]

I like how you described each of the five senses. The words really flowed smoothly and capitilizing a select few added emphesis well. On the other hand, using words over and over again to add emphesis is very difficfult to pull off. I would suggest only doing so when you are positive you'll be able to achieve the right affect, otherwise it hinders your description rather than building on it. Spotted a couple spelling mistakes, as well. The little buggers are easy to miss. smile