• I have no reason to live,
    I'm nothing more than an actor.
    I portray myself up on that screen,
    I'm the worst movie to ever come out.

    I'll definitely win an oscar,
    If only for being the worst,
    In a joke, I'm the punchline,
    It as though I have been cursed.

    Bridge:
    People want a jester,
    Well, what could be funnier than my life?
    CH:
    Ripped, in 'twain, fall, and lain,
    Greed, no gain, cry, no rain,
    Need, disdain, die, no pain.
    It's just a movie, after all.

    I'm well-known in these parts,
    Just ask around and it's true.
    For who else could play these roles,
    You need someone not better than you.

    Gimme a pen, for I am author,
    Though I can write not a jot,
    The critics, they love me,
    But I'm pathetic, so how could they not?

    Bridge:
    People want a smelly bum,
    Well, look at my future if I stay in my own life!
    CH

    Some spare change, ma'am?
    Just enough so I can eat?
    "Another Oscar-winning performance"
    The jobless, total dead-beat.

    The curtain goes down, Cyanide for me,
    Watch the audience howl with glee,
    There's nothing left, last performance to see,
    But can't reach that jar, to make me free.

    Bridge:
    People want somebody to kick, and jeer at,
    That's the reason why I exist, and can never leave,
    This sad and lonely puppet theatre.
    CHx2