About You

• Artist: Failure and Disfunction
• Description: I know it sounds sort of shallow, but I am just expressing how I truely, deeply feel.
• Date: 06/22/2009
• Tags: about deep

When i see your hair,
I'm dying inside.
When i look into your eyes,
those eyes i despise,
a knife in my heart,
and your smile twists the blade.
everytime i see you,
i stop in my tracks,
and gasp,
and this isnt much of a rhyme,
but your voice is a poem,
melting me inside.

Comments

[xX Night Fox Xx]

I see the sorrow...

[Bliss i n O B L I V I O N]

It's good, but a little cliche. It was written well though, so that gave you a few extra points. You might want to solidify the style of the poem. I hope this helps. Keep writing! biggrin