Dreams

• Artist: XdarkAZNshadowX
• Description: Okay, I wrote this poem because I was insanely bored. I know it sucks, I just want it to be rated. And since you guys all hate me (I know you do, I'm not stupid. You guys absolutely demolished my self-esteem on the last one...) feel free to criticize. I don't care anymore, hate me all you want. Leave hatred comments on my profile if you wish, like I said, I don't care.
• Date: 08/17/2009
• Tags: dreams

From the minute I awake,
To the minute I sleep,
Like a starry lake,
Filled with sheep.

My only thoughts,
Are of you.
I think of you lots,
During the day.

Even at night,
In my dreams.
My first sight,
Like my first light.

Dreams and reality,
You in both,
But how can I tell,
When it is I you loathe?

My dreams,
What do they mean?
Everything isn’t as it seems,
But are we a team?

You don’t know,
How important you are.
For me to slow,
To wait for a star.

When it does,
My dreams will tell,
If you love,
Me, or rather hell.

Comments

[UC Poika]

You said it. " I know it sucks" but ain't that the way with dreams, incongruous, untenable, as silly as using big words to describe something so vital. I won't rave about your poem but I just love narrative poetry confusion and all... In my opinion it's better than the professor thinks. Screw the rules you got talent.

[Tabz-x]

I like it, good job. =]

[XdarkAZNshadowX]

Okay, thanks. What do you think of it overall?

[ProfessorKC]

the rhyme scheme is forced and the images are mixed and it has no continuity though eveidently a love poem.

Cheer up, everyone starts somewhere and learns from there. Don'
t force lines to rhyme with each other if you don't feel it says what you need it to say.