Corrupt World

• Artist: Aerillis
• Description: This is basically my response to the current status of the world, or as some may call it, a public statement. I think many of you will find the basic message behind my work is true.
• Date: 02/11/2010
• Tags: corrupt world

Sitting by the fire on a cold winter night,
Shadows play and dance with the light.
Coexistence between the two never seems right.
No segregation between them though they always fight.

No peace for the two, desstined to battle for control.
The war between the two is millenias old.
Never shall we see either side fold.
Both hold strong and stand courageous and bold.

Age old war heroes get lost in time and history.
Few stories remain of their triumphs and victory.
Now in the afterlife, they surely weep in misery.
For their tales shall now be shrouded in mystery.

In this age we worship those with fame, power, and money.
None deserve it and I find it funny,
So many lives lost in war to the running and gunning.
Few are remembered unless they're a celebrity.

This world is becoming more corrupt every day.
We push our friends and family away.
We don't care who we hurt or watch what we say.
Repent is way overdue and it's time to pay...

Comments

[BrotherJygia]

I love the beginning mood or feeling per say, but it changed quite quickly in the setting. If you could change the mood smoothly you'll probably do better. For now 4/5.

[nbetweener]

From what I can see of this, you probably could've done a lot better. I mean, money/funny/gunning/celebrity?? everything else was so smooth...

Give a rework, see what you can do.

[iMeowTao]

I do agree with the message. Sincerely.
I think you could work on the rhyme scheme one day if you really wanted to, but deffinately keep this poem.
It takes you places! ^ ^

[xI run with scissorsx]

I get it love it and think it's extremely deep