Gently Revived

• Artist: White Rabbit Mara
• Description: oh words, sweet words. this poem takes me back, so far to the sunny spring day i wrote this. bliss inspires such words from me. i dont know about you, but for me this is like a window, i can see just what it looked like..and how it felt. i am proud to say i can read this and smile, get that warm feeling inside. when it used to make my heart break.
• Date: 02/11/2010
• Tags: take life free

My heart is slowly healing
so I will hand it o'er to you
You are my miracle worker
Show me what they say that you can do.
Gently hold my heart dear
cradle it near your chest
calm its heavy beating
show me your very best
Gentle please, more gentle
my heart cannot delay
it needs another lifetime
i gave it to you to live another day
It wants to have a partner
a mate to live long with
it wants to prove the press wrong
to find that love is not a myth
do you see what you are doing?
how its mending at your touch
do you see what you are doing?
how it falls for you very much
But be a bit more gentle
maybe sing a song
strum along my heart strings
its beat can carry the tune along
Dear, please a pinch more gentle
its owner needs a kiss
sweetly rest your lips upon me
maybe thats the secret trick
do you see now, its more radiant?
giving off an everglow
Of love and warmth and vigor
please dont let it go
Your gentle kiss dear was the medicine
your song did give it life
your touch gave it a promise
A brandnew love and life.

Comments

[Kigaru_ECP]

This is such a sweet poem! i hope whoever inspired it is still with you and that your both still so in love!

[Julia Dream]

The trouble with this poem is the structure. Some lines have too many syllables, throwing off the rhythm. There's rhyme, but no consistent pattern to the rhyme - it starts off ABCB, then falls apart completely toward the end. The use of "o'er" is out of place - you don't use archaic words at all through the rest of the poem. The story of the poem is nice, but poems are effective if all aspects of the poem - rhyme, rhythm, scan, and diction - work together, and this poem doesn't have that.

[starryluminara]

wow, i love your words!! i know what you mean, sometimes your poems are like vortexes that take you back to the days you wrote them each with their own string of memmoreies (good or sad) My friends for some reason like this one poem called Lost Power I wrote a long time ago after I used all my wisdom (hence the name..."LOST POWER) but evertyone who reads it says its funny. I really have no idea how it's funny or even a crowd pleaser but hey ok!