+without you+

• Artist: tootskiezie
• Description: It's a spontaneous poem..& made it just now,,but hope you like it though..^^,
• Date: 03/21/2010
• Tags: lzerokazuki pandaprincess5

Im afraid to let u go
but ur pushin' me to do so
do u know it's hard for me to see
that it's u and her;not ME..

It might be because you have given up on me
& choose to move on and be free
but if I could say a word to you before this goodbye
"Hold unto me or else I would rather die."

In times of sorrow who would I cling to??
And in moments of joy, it was always you but now who??
I could still feel the ache of letting you go
and now I'm lifeless without you.. emo

crying

Comments

[bram toker]

Okay... First of all, this is totally l337-speak. NOT appropriate for poetry. You do not need to double up question marks. You don't need to use & instead of "and." And please--no emotes! If all that was cleared up, you'd still need to repair the rhythm in this poem. I don't mean to be harsh; just offering some constructive criticism.