• I think I’ve got pyromania,
    And probably acromania,
    If those are their clinical names.
    'Cause I like the pointy swords,
    And having Roman candle wars
    And other such dangerous games.
    Take cutters with a razor edge,
    Trim bushes to a perfect hedge
    Then watch them all go up in flames.

    Why did they all look at me,
    When John became an amputee?
    Like all the other times I’ve been blamed.
    I’m sorry he was such a slacker
    Playing Hot Potato/Firecracker,
    But it’s not my fault he was maimed.

    When someone else in the town
    Cut the tree in the courtyard down
    Burnt the courthouse to the ground
    And I was the only one they found
    I’m telling you now I have been framed.