|
Alrighty.... I'm going to start in chronological order...
For a while now, I've been noticing that I've been slipping. Mentally that is. I can't seem to focus on any one thing. And it's aggravation the s**t out of me. I get on WoW to avoid doing my homework, but when I get on I don't do anything because I know I need to do my homework. So I'm stuck in a limbo situation. I'm angry at myself for not doing what I set out to do, whether it be actually DOing my work or leveling Eri-bear to 80... I just can't focus. Everything bothers me, I'm always at unrest, I can't focus for more than an hour. It's just... UGH! I keep making up excuses... I don't like it, I want to stop and actually do my work and turn it in on time. But it's so aggravating when I become to easily sidetracked.
And then, when I'm in a foul mood because of my inattentiveness I get these monstrous headaches that just keep pounding and pounding and won't go away. These make me in an even worse mood. Like today. I was walking in the upper bypass hallway and I get one of the aches. I look at the wall and think... "If I could only make it stop by bashing my head in. Just keep hitting my head on the wall till is stops. I just want it to stop. Please make it stop."
I would really like to go to a doctor and get these issues checked out, but I have no way of getting there and I'm afraid it will cost money I don't have. Then if my parents found out I would be mortified. I don't want them or anyone else looking at me like I'm different. I want them to treat me like I am normal. Same goes with my friends...
Oh! I may not have said this before, I forget. But last week I put a whole in my ceiling above my bed. (long story, I might tell it later) and then yesterday my closet door broke for the 9trillionth time, and THEN not even an hour ago, I broke my fake tooth. I have a habit of chewing things, I don't know what for, it's just a habit. and I was messing around with the cord of my headphones and I put the plastic part that has the volume adjustment and the mic mute button in my mouth. I didn't even bite down that hard... I guess I just hit it in the right spot. And well now I have a fake tooth in a plastic baggy, and this god awful post thingy still in my mouth that is just so hideous... I swear, if I could I would not go to school tomorrow just to save myself the humiliation. But no, my parents will force me to go anyways, Eff them!
Well I have the urge to go do something else now, damn-it...
Later!
 rainbow_kiss-able_kisses · Tue Dec 16, 2008 @ 01:23am · 0 Comments |
